yeah....Things will only get better

Still remember the day that I finished the very last paper of my PSLE some 10 plus years back. Yeah it was on a Friday, yeah 5 papers , one more Higher Chinese Paper on top of the other 4. Yeah you can imagine my dismay that my friends that did not have to take this paper got their freedom one day before I did. ONE day only mah.... you may think but somehow , this extra day weighed in onto me. You can imagine the delight that I felt when I handed in my final script.

I ran straight out of school. Happy to be leaving the exam hall and back to the comfort of my home. I was happy to be with my new found freedom. But it didn't last. Suddenly I was alone with this uncertaintly. Not sure what my PSLE score would be, which school would I be going to and so on. I didn't have much of a common topic with my friends, after all exams are all over. I began to miss exams. Yeah.. biggest joke? But well.. I guess such things so happen??

That was the ONLY time I missed exams. Never again. The satisfaction I get from writing a good paper, for doing an absolutely stunning project with an outstanding presentation is immense; much more than getting A's for my exams. Sounds weird? Maybe. Perhaps I'm weird?

Our Father,
who art in heaven,
hallowed be thy name;
thy kingdom come;
thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread;
and forgive us our sins
as we forgive those who sinned against us;
do not bring us to the test,
but deliver us from evil.
Deliver us, Lord, from every evil,
and grant us peace in our day.
In your mercy keep us free from sin
and protect us from all anxiety
as we wait in joyful hope
for the coming of our Saviour, Jesus Christ.

For the kingdom,
the power,
and the glory are yours
now and for ever.

Lord Jesus Christ, you said to your apostles;
I leave you peace, my peace I give to you.
Look not on our sins, but on the faith of your Church,
and grant us the peace and unity of your kingdom
where you live for ever and ever.

Amen.


The very first prayer I was taught. Somehow this is extremely special to me. Was listening to 90.5 earlier in the evening, well there's this song that had this prayer as it's lyrics. It really struck me, real hard. Have I not been pious enough in my faith? Or is there something that is waiting to be done? I seek not from anyone but from the Lord Himself.

As I share with you, the very same prayer that I learnt, may peace always be with you and your loved ones this festive season and may God bless you.

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I'm not too sure if this is a seasonal thing as well, but somehow during the month of Decemeber I become very emotional. I haven't really noticed it until yesterday. As I reflect back on my life for the past 10 years or so, somehow the most intense emtions were displayed during this period.

While I don't intend to conduct an emphircal test to prove this, I believe some retorspective kind of reflection should be sufficient. This is the season of love, this is the season of joy. While I may think that I do not have someone to share my joy with, in actual fact I do have people whom are every ready to share my sorrows with. Dad, Mom, brothers and sisters, in fact all those around me. These are my gifts from God.

=)

I think I'm useless, therefore I am.
I think I am competent, therefore I am.

Self belief, a very special and unusual trait. Enough said.

Dun tell me SARS is back. I don't want to hear any of it. It 's just unfortunate. Just pray that it will not be back.

Okies... Saddam's captured. Don't think we need another terror to create fear in the world.

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Somehow these KFC leaflets are pretty interesting. U have to pay 2 bucks should your order falls below $25. hmm... justified ? This is the business world

Have been waking up real early of late. Hangover from OBTC I guess. But I guess it's great to be able to lead a sleep early and wake early life again. Although not sure for how long more. In the meantime, Just hope to get back a healthy lifestyle. Yes, been real unfit for the past 2 years or so. Not too sure if it only affects me IPPT or not.If anything more, I guess it's going to be real drastic.

WIll be going back to BPs later . As I blog this, it's rainning outside. Not too sure why am I blogging this in the early morning rather than my usual preference of doing it @ night. But haha. Blogs are supposed to be something free and easy, I do it as and when I please. And furthermore it's the holidays!! Yeah right.Something's drastic is going to happen tomorrow. Hai!! Don't wish to talk about it. May God Bless ~~

Haha... Somehow they just appeared. The letters that I wrote to Sheryl. Kind of mushy when I read it now, but somehow they just seem to be very alright, very normal when I wrote them. I guess, once it's over, when the feelings' gone, everything's just normal. Some were sent to her, others, oh well.... sealed in nicely, in its original state.

But seriously, do love letters, as in those handwritten ones, still have a place in today's society, in the arena of courtship and love? We have emails,SMS, ICQ, Msn and so on. Everything's so "e", i.e. electronic. I don't recall having depended that much on email or MSN. In fact, I think that's very insincere. Every stroke and every alphabet written in ink, not only conveys the semantic meanings, but also brings out the inner feelings of the conveyor.

However on second thoughts, a simple " I love you " can mean so many things. Succinct and straight forward. Something that's very much the representation of today. If a simple stalk of rose can mean so many things, I guess a simple sms, especially during much stressful and difficult periods can create magic.

Romance and all it's strategy leaves one battling with his pride. But through the insecurity, the tenderness survives. This is often the real barrier. You just have to cross this obstacle, before advancing. Pride and ego are afterall man-made constructs. Sorry Frued but the id and the ego just doesn't really fit in here.

Happiness is something that you have to fight for, my dear friend.

=)

Oh well, OBTC is finally over and I can have some time to myself. Have been waking up at 6 plus for the last few days and reaching home at 7 plus. It's like more than 12 hours away from home everyday. Of course, the only consolation is the satisfaction I get when the trainees come up to me and thanked me . To be very frank, I'm very embarassed to receive such kind words. I have been very slack throughout the course. It's the trainees that are the super on ones. Haha... really surprised that no one complained that I was too slack. I would draw a comparison of an OGL. I mean, I can't treat my trainees like my cadets. I don't even scream or yell at my cadets, at least rarely so. I'm very fortunate that most have been very supportive of our style. Winston really helped to laid the framework and foundation for a peer learning, experiential learning with an emphasis for facilitation of the activity. Many thanks.

Of course, I can sense that some of the former CIs were obviously extremely bored and well yeah... think that we cannot make it and need to acquire the help of former CIs and NCOs to facilitate. Oh well, they will know it soon enough, for next year's OBTC .

TO my trainees of squad 4, or should I say, my fellow Officers:

It's been wonderful knowing all of you. Glad to know that the first outing so soon. Feel free to to drop me a line anytime ya?

To the other officers that somehow remembered me in one way or another:

Thank you for remembering me, hopefully not for all the wrong reasons. Been a pleasure facilitating the various activites, such as Land Expe and Drills. On the whole, you people have been great.

To my fellow instructors, although I don't really like this term:

Nice working with you.

Okies.. end of my many thank yous. I know the GOlden Horse Awards are over ,but let me have the kick of doing so lah.

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Okies... back to everyday life.

I never liked shopping but I guess I should get started. Don't even know what's on the shelf nowadays. Havent gotten the chance to find out. I guess this is one of my to do list for this holidays lah

Other stuff includes

1) Reformatting my laptop.
2)Complete my CV
3)Get mentally prepared for the release of results.
4)Sleep and rest .
5)Spend more time with my love ones.
6)oh yes... redesign my blog... I know this layout sux but aiyah.. can't be bothered lah... okok.. will try to try.