yeah....Things will only get better

Struggling to complete my IRP.

I don't deny that I've learnt a lot from this module, the whole process of doing research and so on. Data entry was a complete chore. Sleepness nights, endless cups of coffee. Dad was worried, very much so. Shini commented that I lost weight and looked very much haggard.

I'm just about to complete my work. I'm not sure if I will experience a sense of lost after the completion of my final report, especially when so many honours students have made such remarks.

Many say that our supervisors will not fail their students unless of course due to blatant plagarism. However, I have this feeling that I won't do well. This report constitute almost everything of this module. Yeah.. a make or break kind of situation for me. Currently doing the data analaysis. Ah shux man... not too sure if I did the correct thing or not. The figures just don't look good. They look real weird.

Just to quote Winston. " If there's anyone ( professor) that is going to fail his students, it is likely to be David Chan."

It does sound scary.

I have no choice but to endure on. Anyway I don't have much time left too.

I guess I have to be positive and just do my best.

Received this sms :

Positive thinking is like this
A little bird in the sky
You look up and it shits in your eye
You don't mind and You don't cry
You just thank God that elephants don't fly!

Haha... this is positive thinking to the max? Thanks Nic.

To my buddies: Thanks for offering me your laptops when mine decided to go on strike. Really appreciate it.

To those that reads my blog: Hmm... don't really know what you find interesting in this plain and dull blog but thanks for reading. No time to change the layout la... simple is best ??

To my Dear: Thanks for your words of encouragement, that provided me the warmth in this freezing battle, thanks for listening to my complains. 辛苦了. =)

Yeah.. no time

Ran into a friend today, oh well won't call him an acquaintance but don't know him that well. Haven't met him for some 5 yrs already and was really glad to have run into him. Had some chat with him of course. Oh well, he's currently drawing close to 10 k a month and doing something that he likes best. No complains .

He was on his way to NUH, to visit someone and this someone is in coma.

She is not his gf, however, if I could recall, he has been carrying a torch for her since 1998. They were friends but never made it beyond that. Oh well, he didn't really have the guts to let her know and was very much contented to be able to be near her.

I'm not too sure how did he manage to hold on to this for so many years. It's not a secret. If you were to ask him that, he will not deny his feelings for her. But it's just that he was not able to reveal his feelings to her. And this carried on for 6 years.

While his current hope is for her to recover ASAP, he promised himself that the first thing he'll do when she comes round is to come clean with all his feelings for her.

You have my support and my prayers, my friend.

10 plus in the evening.

It's just a short walk, some 2 km plus. It won't take long. A short stroll, with the breeze.

Cooling,sure but I was tired. I chose to carry on anyway. I reached my destination.

On my way home, well, the bus stop was just across the road. COuld have chosen to wait for the bus, but I didn't.

I 'm not too sure why I chose to walk. I wish I have the answer. I really want to know why. This I guess is the biggest barrier. The moment I get pass this , I'm very sure I 'll have the answer to where I am heading towards. It's kind of tormenting. But I guess this is a struggle that I have to overcome, otherwise there's simply no way I can decide on the next move. I guess the greatest challenge is to get pass myself. I need an answer and I need it fast. Time and tide waits for no man.

I need a clear mind. Defintely.

Vincent

Starry, starry night
Paint your palette blue and gray
Look out on a summer's day
With eyes that know the darkness in my soul
Shadows on the hills
Sketch the trees and the daffodils
Catch the breeze and the winter chills
In colors on the snowy linen land

Now I understand what you tried to say to me
And how you suffered for your sanity
How you tried to set them free
They would not listen, they did not know how
Perhaps they'll listen now

Starry, starry night
Flaming flowers that brightly blaze
Swirling clouds in violet haze
Reflect in Vincent's eyes of china blue
Colors changing hue
Morning fields of amber grain
Weathered faces lined in pain
Are soothed beneath the artist's loving hand

Now I understand what you tried to say to me
And how you suffered for your sanity
And how you tried to set them free
They would not listen, they did not know how
Perhaps they'll listen now

For they could not love you
But still your love was true
And when no hope was left inside
On that starry, starry night
You took your life as lovers often do
But I could have told you, Vincent
This world was never meant
For one as beautiful as you

Starry, starry night
Portraits hung in empty halls
Frameless heads on nameless walls
With eyes that watch the world and can't forget
Like the strangers that you've met
The ragged men in ragged clothes
A silver thorn, a bloody rose
Lie crushed and broken on the virgin snow

Now I think I know what you tried to say to me
And how you suffered for your sanity
And how you tried to set them free
They would not listen, they're not listening still
Perhaps they never will...

I guess I 'm in love with this song.

Pling had this very interesting msn nick, drawing a comparison between chilli and love.

"Chilli has the taste of love. It makes you miserable, makes you numb and makes you cry, but you can't get enough of it."

Oh how true is it?

If you were to ask me some 5-6 years ago, I might have the answer. Not anymore. The agony, the misery... just don't seem to relate to me anymore. Yes, I'm surprised. I no longer feel these emotions and defintely do not yearn for it as much as I do before. In fact, you can safely quote me as saying, I no longer know what is this thing called love.

Chilli has lost it's effect on me.

yeah.. you read it right. I'm not feeling too well. Not too sure how but somehow it just happened. You don't really need any reason to fall sick I guess. Yeah... somehow lah.

Been very much exhausted. Tired. Just that this will make me rest more and not neglect my health? Thanks to all that have shown your concern. Really appreicate that.

I'm not sure what's wrong with those people in SAF. The government has always given them the most amount of money, attractive pay and benefits. But what do we get?

I 've just received my SAF 100 yesterday for the first time, notifying me for In-Camp Training. Not that I mind, but just that the copy I received is a duplicate copy. That's extremely weird for I have not received any original copy of the SAF 100. I dread this to the max. I have defintely not gotten any 6 month's notification in advance.

I don't think this is very acceptable. How to be a professional force?

I have always given my best during training. I would expect the best admin in return.

Enuff said.

众里寻她千百度
蓦然回首
那人却在灯火阑珊处

Never heard from Al for at least 2 years. He's getting married. Of course I'm happy for him. After so many years of searching, he has finally found someone. Someone to live her life with him for the rest of their lives. Well, if so the two of them would have been living under the same roof for the rest of their lives.

You see the 2 of them are neighbours. Have been staying there in the same block since the day they were born.

yes.. and that's the reason for the above Chinese verse. Nope.. I didn't write that.. Duh...

Oh well.. today's a rainy day and I feel oh so sleepy. Tomorrow will be a very rushed day for me. Yes.. lotsa stuff to do. Oh well.. what to do?

Yes.. since Jan?

Have been missing in action for Feb. Not that I have been slacking.. not that I have not been online... in fact I have been online almost every single day. Just that life's so monotonous, extremely so. Nothing wonderful to blog.

Yeah in fact I can summarise everything in a word.

SIAN

Not that today's anything interesting, just that I have to get this blog going again.

For a start,