yeah....Things will only get better

Alright it's back to civilian life for me, where I hang up my green. Like what T C said, there's no such thing as No 4, only green camo clothes. We happen to be paid to don this colour for the few days.

Well, secruity issues's defintely the top of everything, even at camp. We were advise to carry our passes whereever we went in camp. Okies... when we were out of camp for training, e.g. range or outfield how to carry pass? Well, exactly . When we returned to camp, the RP insisted all of us produce our passes.

Well, if you think it's time to throw rank at the RPs, you'll be very wrong. They stood their ground. This is something I respect. However, they are defintely brainless and not being flexible. How to bring your pass when you go outfield? Or even for morning jogs? Duh!!!

No choice but to go all the way to RSM. This only shows that the RP did not take note of the people that go out of camp, even if it means their own people from the same camp.

But well, I'm glad that I don't have to be subjected to such checks and everyday by young kids that are more likely to tekan you, abusing their powers? Haha....

Once more....

ORD LOH!!!

Somehow I just enjoy the company of the old birds, in other words the lao jiaoz. Just look at the way the do things will ultimately put the active personnel and even the regulars to shame. They may not be as fit, but their efficiency is second to none. Just a word from the boss and things will be done. Ok, less regimentation, you don't have to march around the whole compound, no left right left. You still have to have a neat haircut,you have to address the appointment holders by ranks and blah blah blah... but then again, things get done, so what the heck. Reservists would know.

WIll be going through the new SAR21 tomorrow. ahaha.

Learnt about the technical parts of the SAR21 during last in-camp. Don't really like the new weapon. Boring. Very toy-like. But I guess we have to adapt to such changes. I still prefer my carbine. Very light and convienient. Just love it. But then again, I would still prefer a revolver. Give me one anytime. I would glady trade my greens for a blue. Nevermind my limited prospects.

Things to do during in camp

1. They better understand all the shit that we are going through. 2-3 months of notification is not justified at all. I'm going to let them know.

2. Reinforce the fact that NSmen are the biggest f@#ks around... i.e. Don't you mess around with us. If regulars think that Nsmen can be pushed around, oh man, they're gonna regret this.:P

3. Shopping? Hmm... get some gifts and souvenirs I guess? Pling likes camo pattern stuff.. hmm.. haha. I need to get some army tshirts too.. don't know go where liao. Perhaps some socks and wad else?hmm.... will need to prepare a list.

4. Make new friends? Gosh ... from my understanding only 4 of us are recalled. THis is a guards brigade I think. Have to be siao on a bit.

5. Fail IPPT. This is a foregone conclusion. Haven not been training hard enough. No way can pass.

At the time of writing, I'm suppose to be packing my stuff. Ahaha... but well well, I'm not. Damn sian and no mood. Think I better check my uniform. Not too sure if still can wear or not, the colour's fading I guess.

Somehow have this feeling that like many things missing leh. DOn't know lah, just bring whatever I have with me?

Anyway.. yeah.. back to packing. WIll sleep early. Gotta be there by 0730 and it's at Pasir Laba. Ulu place.

Don't miss me too much , dear?

a game that kept me company for long periods of time and at different phases of my life. Of course, my all time "favourite" has to be snake, not because of the nature of the game but rather the situations that led me into playing this game. Think Handphone and think N.S.

What do you do during BMT after training hours? You don't just rot there in your bunk. Alright, call some gal on the phone and chit chat? Perhaps but snake is always easier to play and you don't have to think over which snake to play but you have to think which gal to call?

Anyway back to solitaire. Somehow this game is becoming very very addictive? Esp the spider version. Haha. Not too sure why?

Perhaps because of the song by Clay Aiken.

Solitaire
There was a man,
A lonely man,
Who would command,
And he's playin,

And Solitaire's the only game in town,
And every road that takes her takes him down,
And by himself it's easy to pretend,
He'll never love again,

And keeping to himself he plays the game,
Without her love it always ends the same,
While life goes on around him everywhere,
He's playing Solitaire...

I like this song, a very nice song. Not so much about the lyrics though. Pretty depressing. Hmm... is that true about people that play solitaire are more prone to depression? Haha.. I don't think so.

Anyone when some research experience care to share with us?

Am I being super bored that I actually attempted such a test? Personality disorder?? HAHAHa

Hmm....

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid:	Low
Schizoid:	Low
Schizotypal:	Low
Antisocial:	Low
Borderline:	Low
Histrionic:	Low
Narcissistic:	Low
Avoidant:	Low
Dependent:	Low
Obsessive-Compulsive:	Low
-- Personality Disorder Test - Take It! --

How true?

If you really so bo liao
try it too

http://www.4degreez.com/misc/personality_disorder_test.mv

Are they only meant to be, dreams?

I must confess, becoming a police officer wasn't my childhood dream. I don't really have any childhood ambition. Dad wanted me to become a lawyer, ok, so for sometime I told others that my ambition was to become a lawyer. That's the typical ambition parents have for their children I guess? haha.. not lawyer den it's doctor lor.. u noe along that line, where you get huge bucks??haha

And now when I have to make decision about what to do in life. I hate the fact that I have to carry on my dad's dream. Okies.. I didn't get into law school, though I must admit having some knowledge is interesting and defintely benificial. Ended up as a psychology major. That wasn't in his "plans" too. Took quite a lot of effort to convince him, though till today I don't think he's convinced. It's either law and since I didn't end up in law school, it better be political science or some foreign language. Nope, I didn't do neither.

I guess now when I'm at the crossroad of my life where I have to make a huge, major decision. I know what I want, yeah, joining the force. Dad knows it too,but he has other plans for me. His business.

Don't try to talk me into it. I only know that we only live once. Perhaps running your own business can bring you lotsa money, perhaps you will lose everything. No one knows, but the minimum is that you should see the value in your product? Otherwise what you will be doing is merely earning money or losing money. There is absolutely no meaning to life. You only see things in terms of money.

Went down to HQ in the afternoon. Returned the stop watch to CFS. Had a chat with Commandant. She seems pretty ok to chat with, not as chatty with some of the other heads though but she's pretty much approachable. Well, learnt from her that the force is really not recruiting anyone anymore for the post of Senior Officer.

"They might in a year or two I guess...Try again next time" kinda replies... well.. getting pretty sian of it.

They closed the application some 2-3 years back. If so I don't see the point why do they actually still have road shows and stuff at career fairs. Try asking them for advise on how to apply. You will get a blatant " We're not recruiting at the moment. But you can try sending in your application. We will inform you if we have vacancies. Thank You for your interest in the post of senior police officer." Haha.. Think I can rattle on their standard replies.

I don't have that much time to wait for their application to open again. It's time that I move on and stop harbouring any hopes.

Who says dreams are meant to be fulfilled?

They give you hope. But at the same time, they crush you. Reality always hurts.

Enuff said.

Exams are over ? Oh yes defintely.

For the first time, I am actually not that eager in looking forward to the release of grades. Not that I always perform well and hence, the eagerness. But rather, I hate anticipating, kinda left in the dark, dunno what's gonna happen next.

I'm gave myself some time to relax and to unwind... to think about life and to ponder over the possible steps that I would like to take.

Dad wants me to go over to his company, to work. It is his desire that I take over and of course he hopes that I can expand this business. I can see that he is slogging very hard to lay the firm foundation. He should be semi-retiring. But no, despite telling him that I have absolutely no interest, he still believes that one day I will pick up the business. Many of his business associates, were told by their children that they were not interested in continuing the family business. However after graduation many still went over, some well, did try their luck elsewhere but still returned to the familiy business.

I do not know what the reasons may be. However I do know that I have zero interest in running such a business. It doesn't appeal to me. The job satisfaction is defintely not there.

Told that to Dad. His reply was typical him. He wasn't trainned in such entrepreneuring at all. In fact, there weren't any so call entrepreneur classes or courses during his time? He was a student of international relationship, majoring in foreign languages. Circumstances forced him to abandon his dreams.

Somehow his dreams sorta became "my alternatives". That is to say, if I don't do business I should do political sciences,IR related kind of courses. Or even learn a foreign language, like he did. Oh man... I know he meant well. But well, no wonder people say that sons are normally carbon copies of their Dads.

No??

Hahahaha. Should I follow my dreams and risk straining relationship with him? Spoke to him many times liao... he's just so stubborn. You know that kind of " Dad always Knows Best" or " I consume more salt than you prob did with rice".

Almighty God, please show me the way.