yeah....Things will only get better

Well, I must confess that it didn't seem like a public holiday to me.

Was about to wash up and get to work when I realised that it is a PH. Went down to Novena for a quiet prayer before realising my handphone wasn't with me. Those of you that know me well would understand my dependance on my handphone. Overdependence I must say. It is my organiser, my address book, my source of communication and yeah... enterntainment. I love the tennis game.

Can't imagine life without my phone. Was about to take a shower when I received a call from Jas. Ah...she's lost her handphone. She believed that she dropped it on a cab on her way home. Despite contacting the taxi driver, she wasn't able to retrieve it. I shudder at the thought of it. I remember my own experience, not that I lost my phone but rather my previous phone died on me, losing all my contacts and records in the process. Yes, it wasn't pleasant. And I shall leave it at that.

Was at AS1 in the afternoon. Had a plesant surprise . ZQ and ZL turned up in their wedding attire for the photo shots. I must say it's a very unusual setting. The deep bonds AS1 has with us is something we'll never forget for the rest of our lives. And yes, it's a tribute to this very special place that one of us actually decided to have his wedding shots taken here. My worn down Mac Powerbook ended up as a "prop" in some of the shots.

Congrats again, Mr and Mrs Koh!

*****

Oh yes, it is Shu Hui's birthday today. Happy Birthday Nic. May the Lord shower lotsa blessings on you. May happy returns.

I think she looks good. Who says Asians aren't attractive?Riyo Mori (森 理世) is the new Miss Universe. She has a blog too... but I think it's better not to surf there now... should be very packed. From what I understand , the Japs are totally mad over her.

I never like watching these peagants, not that I find the sight of attractive ladies repulsive, but I find it very political. And how much time do you get to really admire these gorgeous ladies? Well, yes, beauty lies in the eye of the beholder but to have a couple of seconds for each contestant , I don't find any justice in it leh...

But if there's something that I find interesting about this is that the very "amazing" costumes that each participants don. Some of them are simply captivating while others , well... erm abeit interesting....

Holiday mood.

Chemor is a small town in Perak, a place where my father was born, a place where I got to know my grandmother better. A place of childhood memories.

I remember the long and torturous jounery, be it by train or by coach. Used to follow my dad during Qing Ming to pay respect to my late grandfather. Never did meet my grandpa, he passed away before I was born.

I was very much a city/urban kid. I had difficulties adapting to the countryside life. I cannot understand why one can't bathe from a shower and has to use a pail and bucket. My relatives would fetch water from a well and the poultry provided the perfect morning call for me. I was very much into this " 早睡早起，身体好" thing, hence it wasn't a problem for me. Just that why must they rear their own chickens? For eggs? Meat? Can't they get it from the supermarket? As an alarm clock ? Don't tell me you can't get one in Malaysia? I was even prepared to get them one, much to the dismay of my dad. After all giving someone a clock is taboo in Chinese Customs.

There's this building that fasinated me a lot. It was the Police Station. It's considered to be "the edge" of the town. After this, you're no longer in Chemor. It looked "new" to me. I mean, pardon me but the other buildings in this small town seem to be so "old" and " run down". And the police officers rode around the town on scooters without their helmets, something that amused me quite a bit.

I know I'm a spoilt brat.

But what prompted me to write this post , you may ask. Well, I was reading this book by Dato' Sri J.J. Raj (Jr), a retired Police Commissioner from the Polis DiRaja Malaysia. He was born in Chemor too and well, he officiated the opening of the police station, just a few years before I was born. Hence, the police station wasn't that old when I first saw it? Less than 10 years I believe.

I've learnt a lot more of this police station and it's history. But what so amazing about this police station?

I never truly understood why Dad and some of his Chinese educated friends were "warned" about engaging in " communist " activities. This book gave me an insight of some of the horrible things that the commies did to the local community and the police. The old Chemor Police Station was obviously a target for the commies. But still. why Chemor?

It was a hotbed for commies to stage their activities. The thick forests provided excellent covers. And the large uneducated Chinese population proved to be excellent recruitment grounds. Even if you don't recruit, you can expect symphatisers.

Now I get it. Dad was Chinese educated. Grandpa had a few rubber plantations in Chemor. It was no wonder the family was "warned" . Well, Dad's now in Singapore and my grandmother had passed away, hence we never did make any more trips.

My Aunt was a senior nurse at Tg Rambutan. It was a hospital for the mentally unstable patients. However, it too served as a training ground for the police officer trainees, Dato Sri J.J Raj too.

Felt a sense of warmth throughout this book. Of course, excluding the portions on fighting the Japs during WWII and during the confrontation period la. Looks like I should make a trip to Chemor soon, to relive the memories.

Labels: communication, reflection, thoughts, views

Posted this for you Sam. This was the reply.


Original letter by Mr Lim Chong Leong

ST May 16, 2007
Memorial to NSmen who die while on duty

ST May 16, 2007
Memorial to NSmen who die while on duty
THE sudden, horrific deaths of and serious injuries to our national servicemen in Taiwan came as a great shock. Young men in their prime about to embark on a promising career were stopped suddenly through no fault of their own. Their parents must have felt devastated to lose their sons in such circumstances.

All Singapore parents with sons in NS, or who are about to enlist, must have felt a strong sense of sadness and empathy for the parents of the dead and injured NSmen. However, we can comfort them only with words of condolence and support. Soon, the incident will be forgotten except by the affected parents and family members.

NS is now 40 years old and there are many families with members from three generations who have served the country. NS has become a rite of passage for all Singapore men and is well entrenched in all families. Unfortunately, as a conscripted force, NS is still viewed by parents as a high-risk activity and most feel anxious and concerned for NSmen's personal safety, notwithstanding training precautions taken.

The effort and sacrifices of NSmen are given recognition in various ways, for example, tax rebates, bonuses and club facilities. However, there appears to be a lack of recognition of unfortunate ones who fall while on duty in the defence of Singapore. They may have fallen but they should not be forgotten.

I suggest that, as part of the 40th anniversary of NS, the Government go one step further in recognising the sacrifices of our young men and at the same time, alleviate the emotional devastation and hardship of parents who may lose their sons in the defence of the country.

I propose that the Government provide insurance coverage for all NSmen during their full-time service and allow them to carry on the policies at their own expense after their operationally ready date (ORD). I believe the premium for group insurance is within the budget of the Government. This is in addition to any payment currently made to families of affected NSmen.

Another proposal is to build a memorial to NSmen who lose their lives while on duty. This could be in a prominent location where the public could visit at any time. Their names could be inscribed on the memorial. On National Day, a simple ceremony could be held there to remember them.

Lim Chong Leong


Well, notice the bold lines? A memorial for the NSmen that lost their lives while on duty was proposed. Now look at the official reply below.


I REFER to the letter, 'Memorial to NSmen who die while on duty' (ST, May 16), by Mr Lim Chong Leong.

We thank Mr Lim for his concern for national servicemen who lose their lives while serving the nation and assure him they are not forgotten. During the SAF Day Parade on July 1 each year, a minute of silence is observed to pay tribute to servicemen who have lost their lives in the course of service in the Singapore Armed Forces (SAF). The Ministry of Defence believes this deeply significant segment of the annual parade is a meaningful way to remember our comrades in arms.

Mindef has a framework that provides fair and reasonable compensation for a serviceman who suffers disability or death in the course of service. SAF regulations provide for servicemen and their families to be compensated in line with the Workmen's Compensation Act set out by the Ministry of Manpower. This is the base level of compensation.

The SAF also ensures that we treat our full-time national servicemen (NSFs) and NSmen on par with regular soldiers for the purpose of compensation.

This means for deaths due to military service, we will provide another lump-sum payment, on top of the payment in line with the Workmen's Compensation Act, of a minimum of one year's pay for a regular of the same rank.

Mindef can also grant additional compensation where circumstances merit such additional compensation. The principles Mindef applies in compensating servicemen and their families are consistent with the principles applied by the civil courts in assessing compensation.

In addition, Mindef has the SAF Group Insurance Scheme which provides coverage at premiums that are affordable for NSFs. For example, for a monthly premium of $16 for every $100,000 of coverage, servicemen can insure themselves up to a maximum sum of $400,000.

Col Benedict Lim
Director, Public Affairs
Ministry of Defence

Now... where do we see the official reply from Mindef on the issue of building a memorial? If the good old Colonel cannot answer that question on behalf of Mindef, get someone else to do so. Observing a minute of silence pay tribute to the fallen comarades is something commendable, but well, this issue wasn't brought up by Mr Lim. He was asking about the possibilty of building a memorial. Seems to me that the Colonel either cannot answer/ is in no position to do so or simply got his NSF to draft this reply on his behalf.

According to Mr Wang of mrwangsaysso.blogspot.com, "why would the SAF want to build a public monument to its own failures? Most accidents, whether they occur in the home or on the roads or at the workplace, are preventable."

Yeah.. I is sleepy. Cham liao... another day at work

Routine Day whereby everything seems to pass by just like that.

Clearing emails, answering phone calls. That's about it. No decisions need to be made, no meetings to attend. And yes, I almost fell asleep.

And as if someone heard my thoughts, H called.

" Can you come over?"

I can't say no. His office/showroom is in Bt Batok area. I better get the vehicle.

Spent almost 4-5 hours there. I don't wish to complain but yeah, prolonged meetings are a waste of time. H and partners are more interested in market shares with their eyes glued to the screen more than discussing anything.

When it ended at about 1945, I can safely say that nothing concrete was arrived at. Prof David Chan used to say" Is this all that you can muster since our last meeting? Nothing's been done at all."

Gave them a ride out. They seem more excited than anything. H didn't drive, he is still under a driving ban. He got 18 mths and a 2.8k fine for driving under the influence(DUI).

Although the day was boring, the night was very much exciting, to put it mildly.

Went down to HCB. Lip's around. Didn't do much except a quick chat. Vez was around too, too bad I didn't stay long enough to catch up with him. Seems like haven't had a decent conversation with him for quite some time. Better find some time soon.

Drove over to Wine Arcade with Jas. She's a regular there. Got a bottle of beaukett. Pleasant fruity taste, very easy to drink. The Chee Hong Kia came over to join us later. Well, I give credit when it's due. He walked all the way here. Great job man!

We were later joined by Dave, Daryl and Lip. Wonderful time there. Dave was extremely concerned that I don't have a glass too much. I didn't. In fact not more than one. You never fill up a wine glass completely. Hence yeah,nothing more than that. I was the "driver" you see. I understand the importance of not driving under the influence of alcohol. Dave had a friend that just passed away due to drunk driving/riding, hence he was terribly concerned. Very touched by his concern.

Lip was as usual, very loud and sprouting all sorts of nonsense. The rest were high and light sprited. The teachers are having their holidays! Great way for them to unwind. As usual, Jay was complaining about the same old bus incident.

But what's more important is that we haven't had such a wonderful time for a very long while. The simple pleasures of life, great wine , great company.

AS above. Body getting pretty tensed up, slightly aching. A lack of quality rest ? or simply falling sick?

He is a bright student, at least brighter than most of us. His passion for the field he specialises is second to none.

However, you need more than just brillance to clear your papers, to accumulate enough points to gradaute. You need to obtain passes in areas that you're not expert in.

Getting a "S" (satisfactory) requires a "C" grade. If you don't get it, you get a "U" (Unsatisfactory). And if you don't clear that, you don't graduate, as simple as that. This is harsh. No one would ever expect something of this nature. We seldom come across such instances.

But it has to happen to him. This is the nature of the game. Someone has to get it, and he is that someone.

I believe he will bounce back. As silly as it might sound, he would have to stay back for another semester just to get a "S" grade for a module in order for him to graduate. Not too sure how would this have an impact on his dreams to persue a career in academia?

I wish you all the best my friend.

Somehow I thought of this song.


等待
我随时随地在等待
做你感情上的依赖
我没有任何的疑问
这是爱

我猜
你早就想要说明白
我觉得自己好失败
从天堂掉落到深渊
多无奈

我愿意改变(what can I do?)
重新再来一遍(just give me change)
我无法只是普通朋友
感情已那么深
叫我怎么能收手

但你说
I only want to be your friend
做个朋友
我在
你心中只是just a friend
不是情人

我感激你对我这样的坦白
但我给你的爱暂时收不回来
so I
我不能只是be your friend
I just can't be your friend
no,no,no,
我不能只是做你的朋友
不能只是做普通朋友

It's a huge shock for me. I did consider enrolling in one of their courses in the Singapore Campus but well it's not destined to be so.

The fees' not cheap; you're paying Australian fees to study in Singapore. You don't get much " access" to your Prof, no facilities to speak of, limited libraries and so on. But you pay Aussie fees.

They're looking at 300 students for a start but only got less than half the numbers?

What I'm shocked at is that only dollar figures were mentioned; they've to cut the loses and hence pull out. Nothing concrete about how the students will be affected? Yeah.. scholarships and acomodation to be provided... blah blah blah but nothing concrete.

Where's the social responsibilty ? If an education is all about dollars and cents, I'm sorry to say that no wonder it has to pull out.

Got a shock of my life when I read that the governing body of UNSW only had 30 seconds to decide on the proposal. Too hasty a decision.

Well you better start mending fences. Not too sure what kind of PR impact it will have on future batches of Singaporeans going over to Sydney.

YEah.. the much dreaded dengue thing is back again. The last time was in 2005 (??) I think whereby a official alert was issued.

Clear the excess water, play your part in making our homes a better place. Just check la... no harm wad right?

Treat it like some simple exercise =)

It's another 25th.

=)

Forgot to log off when I went off to lunch and meeting.

Luckily nothing happen. It's a lesson learnt and I will log off in future.

A simple signatory message by E, but it sent me thinking.

"A person who sets his or her mind on the dark side of life, who lives over and over the misfortunes and disappointments of the past, pray for similar misfortunes and disappointments in the future. If you will see nothing but ill luck in the future, you are praying for such ill luck and will surely get it"

Smile and the world smiles with you! =)

Just throw anything to me. I believe I'm in a positon to complete the task.

Doesn't matter what it may be, as long as I have a fighting chance I will go on. Trust me, things will only get better. Believe in me for I can make you share this belief too.

We will survive!

Labels: concentration, random, reflection, thoughts, views

The moment I stepped into office, everyone's complaining about the internet connection. Somehow no network leh.

This isn't exactly a new thing. In fact, it's been recurring. Attempts to get it fixed were futile, even the Singnet technician came and couldn't find a fault.

I realised instead of complaining and moaning about it, why not take it as an " officially sanctioned" break from work? Not that I don't want to work but well bo bian mah... haha

Things finally got back to normal at around 1020.

I need to drink more water, lips getting dry. Maybe I need to apply some lip bum? Have this purple coloured grape flavour stick at home.Taste good in fact but nope not going to have it for dinner.

*****

Did some reading the other day about Self-Fulfilling Prophecy. Covered this during my undergrad days and at the same time it was repeated in the press when calls for the abolishment of streaming were at a peak. This is based on a research conducted by Robert Rosenthal and Lenore Jacobson.

"Robert Rosenthal and Lenore Jacobson, in 1968, gave all the children in an elementary class a test and told teachers that some of children were unusually clever (though they were actually average). They came back at the end of the school year and tested the same class again. Guess what? The children singled out had improved their scores far more than other children. (Rosenthal 1995).

Hence, to make a person act in a certain way, all you have to do is believe this when you interact with them.

*******

F is an old bird in the industry. She's been around for more than 20 years. Her colleague K, on comparison, a newbie. But then again, K has been around for at least 5 years and hasn't gotten his promotion.

The time was 1730h. I gave K a call. Not too sure if he would remember me but well I need to check something from him.

Well, to be frank, I would prefer to check stuff from an old bird anytime. But well, the phone rang for a minute or two without anyone answering. Hence I called K.

He sounded extremely "in a hurry" when he answered the line. I mean, it is after all 1730 hours and people are on the way home. Thankfully, K's still around.

" Hi , is this XXX Dept?" I asked

" Yes." came the reply. It sounded pretty curt to be frank.

" I would like to know if YYYYYY has been received?" I followed up with the next question.

" May I know who's that on the line please ..." Wow, he didn't sound that "rude" after all.

" I'm Malcolm from ZZZZZ"

" Oh Malcolm, I remember you. And yes we've recieved everything and will process it soon. Will update you on the process. Alternatively, please help me if I didn't get back to you by calling me say in month's time?"

He went on about the various processes and made several enquiries about the stuff that were sent.

"Somehow it was sent to my boss and it had to come back to me , hence it wasn't processed".

I apologised. I mean when you send something to a particular department, surely it should be addressed to someone? Unless you don't know anyone from that department and hence a generic title will do. Well, it didn't matter, just that it took a bit more time I guess.

All in all, K sounded helpful. I would like to believe that he really is. I know that the "old me" will be extremely cynical about his intentions. But why can't I be for once, accept that this person is sincerelly helping me?

And yes, I did. I thank him sincerely. He felt good I'm sure and I did too.

*********

I picked up another bottle of water and gulped it down. I have 3 lites so far. More than enough for a day? =)

Yes, I'm on my way. Called them up and checked with them. It's in the process and it's only a matter of time.

Why is there a need to indicate the weather when it comes to writing your diary in Chinese? We know what it is like in Singapore right? It may be sunny in the morning, cloudy in the afternoon, raining heavily in the evening and it's all thundery throughout the night.

So what? Do we list down every single thing? I guess it's only possible when it's in Chinese? Just a few characters and you can get your message across.

******

D was late for work today. His motorbike broke down. He is one of the most committed and hardworking fellows around. Never had a problem with him.

********

Mom just sent me an sms, asking me to get some vegetarian food stuff for her from Farmart. Well, this will be one of the few times making the trip towards Old Choa Chu Kang Road alone and with a heavy heart. Things will get better I'm sure. =)

Getting my butt out of here. Staying at home does me no good. Will definetly allow my thoughts to wander.

Ok... going out.

AH... am I efficient?

The day's over and stuff cleared.

The lorry's transaction is finally over and it's long overdue. Doesn't matter. it's over =)

****

Just realised the President has appointed a few ADCs from the SCDF. Interesting

The moment I've stepped into office, haven't had a moment of peace. Things just keep coming. Not that I'm complaining, I'm not actually, in fact I kind of enjoy it. Just that people think that I'm very stressed up.

Well, not that. I believe it's because of my repeated yawning. The air con's not doing me a favour. It's a bad habit. Have this tendancy to yawn even when I'm not sleepy.

*****

Received this phone call.

" Hello, may I know who is this on this line?"

And this is actually my very first time receiving such a call. No where in this world can I recall having such a line when one makes a call. Amazing=)

********

My table's pretty messy today. Got to clear up the stuff and continue with work. Yeah, I shall try to end the day before 7!

Nestled in a corner of Bishan is a place that I used to call my second home. Incidentally, my first home is located within Bishan too. Haven't really been back for a visit since my graduation from Catholic High. Most, if not all of my teachers are no longer with the school.

I understand that there are many new faces. Too many in fact. I no longer recognise the place. Attended a fucntion on Saturday. It was held at my alma mata. It was nice of them to host the event without charging a fee. Well, my focus wasn't on the event, to be frank. In fact, much as I would want to, the experience back there is very much overwhelming for me.

The very first thing I did when I arrived was to search for my former classrooms. I'm not too sure if the locations are the same. The compound underwent a major facelift several months back. I can hardly recognised. The initial feeling wasn't very positive for me. In fact, i felt sad as if a part of me is gone.

I made my way to the hall where the event was to be held. I was in charge of ushering the guests. Deployed my guys, moved around the new compound to ensure everything's in order. It was a race against time for a moment. The guests were already arriving while the prep was still ongoing. Thankfully, things fell in place. Some slight delays but overall it's still pretty decent.

The Crucifix at the corner of the new hall caught my eye. I felt at peace immediately. I closed my eyes and uttered a silent prayer. Time stood still. I can recall myself running up the long driveway to the parade square for the morning assembly. The morning prayer was the very same prayer that Jesus Christ taught us.

The VIP, incidentally was also an old boy of the school. I was beckoned over to start a conversation with him. Thanks Ma'am. As an old boy, I'm sure the memories of the old site at Queen's St are still fresh in his mind. Suddenly I had the urge to pay a visit to this old site. (Someone was supposed to accompany me there, at least as agreed some months back. But that's all history).

The people may no longer be around, the building may have changed. But I'm still experiencing the same emotions. The very same feeling when I left this school.

I guess this place will always be a part of me.

Labels: mood, random, thoughts, views

The interesting thing about search engines is that sometimes you may not even know that you've written something eoins ago but yet it appears on your screen when you're trying to locate it. All thanks to the Googles and Yahoos.

I also never realised that some of you would have actually made your way here by courtesy of the search engines. Not that I have something to hide, otherwise I wouldn't have started to blog online.

Haven't been extremely sporty lately. In fact , haven't so since I was born or as far as I can recall.

I can't really describe the magical link. It's really amazing to note that the game of 25 adults chasing after a ball can become the most popular game/sport in the world. It binds people together and at the same time, it can tear families apart.

There are many reasons why people are attracted to the game. Some are genuinely interested with the game, the adrenaline rush, the commaraderiel; while others may be interested to the monetary aspects of it.

I don't have the statistics, but I'm certain that the total amount of money generated by football and related industries combined would defintely beat the hell lights out of several countries' GDP. We already have billionaires buying over famous football clubs. Not too sure how much of a fan are they but well, they've got the cash, they've got the power. You can even find football clubs on the stock market.

My first football club was Manchester United. That was way back in 1983 or 1985. I don't think I know much about the game. Was initially confused as to why some call it "soccer". Till today, I still find it difficult to accept this term. You'll seldom hear me use this term.

I remember my Secondary 2 Form Teacher, Mr Andrew Anthony asking me about my ambition. I replied as a manager of a football club. That was some 15 years ago.This ambition wasn't fulfilled. In fact, I no longer desire it as much as before.

My take on football has also changed. As much as I love the game, I don't find the same kick playing the game as a player. Yes, most of my time after school during my Secondary School days were spent on the pitch. I could play almost anywhere,in defence, forward or midfield; perhaps except in front of goal. I was one of the few "double legged" creatures among my football kakis and most goalkeepers dreaded my powerful shots. But that's in the past.

Today, a wonderful way to unwind is to catch a game on television. I still go to the stadiums occasionally but being in front of the screen is my prefered way to catch a game. Of course, beer and food complete the whole experience. I keep my monies in my wallet, I don't place a bet. I still enjoy watching Manchester United play but I realised I love the game more than the club. If there's an offer for me to manage a club, well I don't mind. Just that there are options that I would prefer. The passion is still around, just that it is in another form.

The end of May to the beginning of August is a tough time for many English Premiership fans. The season's over. The habit of gathering in front of TV in groups on Saturday nights is going to be weird. We need to find a new hobby ! Perhaps the beer will still flow, replays will still be shown on the screen. But well nothing beats the live thing.

The beautiful game- I love it this way!

Labels: EPL, football, thoughts

Interesting poem

Hwa Chong student very cool
Armed with girlfriend back from school
Punched a driver thrice his age
Just to save his girlfriend's fate

The police came so he surrendered.
"Uncle, I'm sorry I lost my temper"
His father waiting at Ban San Terminal
Knelt and begged forgiveness for that rascal.

The humiliating scene brought tears to all
A father pays when his son falls.
His love for his children is undeniable.
You don't need to be macho to prove you are a hero.

Just learnt from M that a very senior officer is resigning. He has given us lotsa support over the years.

The reasons for leaving is well, best left as personal. We will remember him for his kindness.

Thank you sir

Was at ST just now.

G wasn't out yet hence waited at a holding room. Together there was this Indian gentleman, well grommed. He was holding a clear holder and a bag. Seems like going for an interview.

As I made my way out when G arrived, I noticed this young babe moving in the opposite direction. Wearing a cheerful smile and sparkling eyes, heads turn when she walked past. She was in a cheerful mood and I bet that added charm to her. Your emotions affect the way you look. So I must feel happy from now on?

Did I mention that she was in a slightly flared and plaid mini skirt? I like ladies in skirts. They look more femine? They have to carry themseleves in a certain manner and hence it enchances the overall aesthetic feel.

But well, it still boils down to how one feels.

If you genuinely think feel good about yourself, yeah... chances are others will sense it too and you look good too.

Labels: thoughts

Well, who says you got to pay astronomical sums of money for honest officers? I don't think TP officers are paid a lot, but well, it's the passion that drives them on.

Don't get me started on $100 being a small sum. They have yet to reach the limit and so on? It is precisely that it's a small sum, they could have closed one eye and receievd it and at the same time charge the guy. Hahaha.. that's so mean.

But well, no means no. That's great. I will never accept too.

Kudos to Sgt Norfaizal and Cpl Hairelrizal

Alleged drink-driver 'offered cops $100 bribe'
— Ansley Ng

A 27-YEAR-OLD driver nabbed for drink driving may also be charged with trying to bribe the two police officers who arrested him.

At about 20 minutes past midnight yesterday, traffic police officers Sergeant Norfaizal Yahya and Corporal Hairelrizal Hashim responded to a call about a car that had landed in a drain at a car park in Sembawang Park.

A breathalyser test revealed that the driver, who cannot be named until he has been charged, had a breath alcohol reading of nearly twice the legal limit.

The driver then tried to escape arrest by offering $100 to the two officers. Sgt Norfaizal warned him that it was an offence to bribe a public servant, but undeterred, the man took out a $100 note and repeated his offer. He was promptly arrested.

A police statement said the driver will be charged with drink driving and driving without due care and consideration.

The bribe attempt, meanwhile, has been referred to the Corrupt Practices Investigation Bureau.

Traffic Police commander Deputy Assistant Commissioner Ng Guat Ting praised the two officers for their integrity. She also warned that strict enforcement will continue against drink drivers.

The man is now out on bail.

Labels: thoughts, views

If you love me, let me free.

Allow me to roam the vast horizons
Should I fall, fret not
I will stand up again.

Believe in me, have faith in me
One fine day, you have my word
I will return.

Happiness and success will follow
and we shall bask in enternal bliss

Labels: thoughts, truthful

I didn't realise that got people read my blog one leh...

Hmm.. therefore I had better blog in proper English? But well, as much as I'll like to do so, I don't think it's possible? A couple of reasons

1) I don't think my command of English is that perfect. I mean, my grades in school were pretty alright, with my fair shares of As. However, upon graduation, I have never been in touch with "standard English" so to say. Those that know me understands my work environment. The language used is in fact Hokkien or a mixture of whatever languages you can name.

2) My life ain't perfect. So how to use perfect English to illustrate an imperfect life? But it's getting better. So my England should also improve huh?

3) My thoughts , a mixture of several events, not neceesary linked. For a moment, I might be thinking in English, the very next,　用华文思考。

Hence, sorry hor, Any Engrish 'cher out there want to teach me the correct way ?

Anyway, today's Friday. yeah.... Things will only get better

Labels: random

Yes, he came back. Not with good news of the completed deal but with more paperwork to be done.

1) He provided me a list of required documents including that of a copy of the Board of Resoultion. The Board sat and came up with one. He even requested for a line to be included in it. Everything went according to his instructions. When he recieved it, he was ok with it.

BUT he came back.

"I'm sorry but these have to be returned. LTA needs a copy of the resolution to have these words..... and this form, you need to resign."

I looked at the form. That was the one whereby he didn't complete it fully and I insisted on cancellations with initial. He told me that these forms cannot have any cancellations. Hence he gave me a new form. It was completed but it wasn't stamped.

Well, talk about professionalism. I rest my case.

Let the bosses decide? =)

Life can only get better with positive thinking. Your daily dosage of feel good articles

The Power of Positive Thinking
by Remez Sasson
Positive thinking is a mental attitude that admits into the mind thoughts, words and images that are conductive to growth, expansion and success. It is a mental attitude that expects good and favorable results. A positive mind anticipates happiness, joy, health and a successful outcome of every situation and action. Whatever the mind expects, it finds.

Not everyone accepts or believes in positive thinking. Some consider the subject as just nonsense, and others scoff at people who believe and accept it. Among the people who accept it, not many know how to use it effectively to get results. Yet, it seems that many are becoming attracted to this subject, as evidenced by the many books, lectures and courses about it. This is a subject that is gaining popularity.

It is quite common to hear people say: "Think positive!", to someone who feels down and worried. Most people do not take these words seriously, as they do not know what they really mean, or do not consider them as useful and effective. How many people do you know, who stop to think what the power of positive thinking means?

The following story illustrates how this power works.
Allan applied for a new job, but as his self-esteem was low, and he considered himself as a failure and unworthy of success, he was sure that he was not going to get the job. He had a negative attitude towards himself, and believed that the other applicants were better and more qualified than him. Allan manifested this attitude, due to his negative past experiences with job interviews.

His mind was filled with negative thoughts and fears concerning the job for the whole week before the job interview. He was sure he would be rejected. On the day of the interview he got up late, and to his horror he discovered that the shirt he had planned to wear was dirty, and the other one needed ironing. As it was already too late, he went out wearing a shirt full of wrinkles.

During the interview he was tense, displayed a negative attitude, worried about his shirt, and felt hungry because he did not have enough time to eat breakfast. All this distracted his mind and made it difficult for him to focus on the interview. His overall behavior made a bad impression, and consequently he materialized his fear and did not get the job.

Jim applied for the same job too, but approached the matter in a different way. He was sure that he was going to get the job. During the week preceding the interview he often visualized himself making a good impression and getting the job.

In the evening before the interview he prepared the clothes he was going to wear, and went to sleep a little earlier. On day of the interview he woke up earlier than usual, and had ample time to eat breakfast, and then to arrive to the interview before the scheduled time.

He got the job because he made a good impression. Of course he had also the proper qualifications for the job, but so had Allan.

What do we learn from these two stories? Is there any magic employed here? No, it is all natural. When the attitude is positive we entertain pleasant feelings and constructive images, and see in our mind's eye what we really want to happen. This brings brightness to the eyes, more energy and happiness. The whole being broadcasts good will, happiness and success. Even the health is affected in a beneficial way. We walk tall and the voice is more powerful. Our body language shows the way you feel inside.

Positive and negative thinking are both contagious. All of us affect, in one way or another, the people we meet. This happens instinctively and on a subconscious level, through thoughts and feelings transference and through body language. People sense our aura and are affected by our thoughts. Is it any wonder that we want to be around positive persons and shun negative ones? People are more disposed to help us if we are positive. They dislike and avoid anyone broadcasting negativity.

Negative thoughts, words and attitude bring up negative and unhappy moods and actions. When the mind is negative, poisons are released into the blood, which cause more unhappiness and negativity. This is the way to failure, frustration and disappointment.


Practical Instructions
In order to turn the mind toward the positive, inner work and training are required. Attitude and thoughts do not change overnight.

Read about this subject, think about its benefits and persuade yourself to try it. The power of thoughts is a mighty power that is always shaping our life. This shaping is usually done subconsciously, but it is possible to make the process a conscious one. Even if the idea seems strange give it a try, as you have nothing to lose, but only to gain. Ignore what others might say or think about you, if they discover that you are changing the way you think.

Always visualize only favorable and beneficial situations. Use positive words in your inner dialogues or when talking with others. Smile a little more, as this helps to think positively. Disregard any feelings of laziness or a desire to quit. If you persevere, you will transform the way your mind thinks.

Once a negative thought enters your mind, you have to be aware of it and endeavor to replace it with a constructive one. The negative thought will try again to enter your mind, and then you have to replace it again with a positive one. It is as if there are two pictures in front of you, and you choose to look at one of them and disregard the other. Persistence will eventually teach your mind to think positively and ignore negative thoughts.

In case you feel any inner resistance when replacing negative thoughts with positive ones, do not give up, but keep looking only at the beneficial, good and happy thoughts in your mind.

It does not matter what your circumstances are at the present moment. Think positively, expect only favorable results and situations, and circumstances will change accordingly. It may take some time for the changes to take place, but eventually they do.

Another method to employ is the repetition of affirmations. It is a method which resembles creative visualization, and which can be used in conjunction with it. It is the subject of another article on this website.

The other articles at this website, about the power of concentration, will power, self-discipline and peace of mind also contribute to the development of a positive mind, and are recommended for reading and practicing.

I was 90% through this post when someone tripped over the socket.

Well, here we go again. Perhaps I have been blogging overtime, in excess?

I remember that Mom has a friend in LA. A very close friend indeed. I don't quite remember her name till today when Mom refreshed my memory. Mrs Leib left Singapore for the US some 15-20 years ago. Her husband was a pilot and they live in LA, California.

Over the years, Mrs Leib has repeatedly invited Mom to visit them in LA. I'm not quite sure why Mom hasn't stepped foot into the US to be frank. I remember my eagerness to have the opened enveloped whenever the letter from US arrived. I was a stamp collector when I was much younger you see. Sometimes, in my (over) eagerness, I would cut off the top right hand corner of the letter even before Mom has read it. Mom wasn't too pleased and I 'd learnt a valuable lesson.

I was pleasantly surprised when I opend the mailbox this afternoon. Haven't been receiving mail from overseas for quite some time. I love handwritten letters. It gives me a certain level of warmth and sincerity.Doens't have to be in nice handwritting, as long as I can make out what it is all about. The stamp from the US postal service doesn't seem to be as appealing as before. Perhaps due to the fact that I'm no longer a stamp collector or simply this design doesn't suit my liking. I handed over the envelope to Mom, without snipping off the top right hand corner.

She beemed when she received it. Yes, it was from Mrs Leib and yes it's another invitation. Her daughter, Sarah had completed her Undergrad studies and would be graduating in a few days' time. They have extended their invitation once more. I'm still not sure why Mom isn't going . Or perhaps she's undecided. I don't mind paying for her airfare or even accompanying her over. Just not too sure how come.

I took a look at the invitation card. Sarah has been confered a Bachelor's Degree in Communication Studies. Oh Well... Don't remind me again ya?

This is life , isn't it?

Labels: thoughts, views

I really do. Hahaha

Well for the transaction of the lorry. Lotsa delays and ding dongs

1st Ding Dong- Loan is not approved because of age of main director. Have to wait for another director to return.
2 weeks gone as a result.

2nd Ding Dong- Board not happy because dealer insist on their company policies. Have to hand over $$ or bank in before any transaction can take place. Boss feels that they don't trust our company and insisted on handing over cash. Salesman was taken aback but agreed to it initially. Cash on Delivery terms
1 week gone

3rd Ding Dong- Salesman called me up and says they need another 2-3 days to complete the transaction upon receving the money, regardless of cheque, cash or whatever. Board wasn't too please to learn of this. Another delay
3 days gone

4th Ding Dong- Salesman Kan Chiong already. Called me up so many times. I told him straight that our conditions must be met, otherwise, "the board will have to meet up for another round of discussions". I even offered to speak to his boss if he can't put it properly. He went back to speak to his boss, I spoke to mine. He called the next day but I was out on a seminar. Further delays
2 day gone

5th Ding Dong- An agreement was reached. The cheque will be handed over today and all paperwork to be completed on the spot. Vehicle to be handed over in 2 days. He was late for 30 minutes. Some documents not properly completed. When pressed, he just told me to sign on the line and chop. He was eager to close the deal. I was too. But well, how to sign when they are so many "openings" ?

1 hr wasted on discussion.

He was frustrated. Boss appeared and gave him a piece of mind. For the first time, I felt sorry for the salesman. I'm not too sure if he's genuinely "blur" or overstressed. He just smiled and kept his cool.

Solution to end: all blanks to be strucked off and initialed.

A simple and straight forward transaction took a total of 4 weeks. The lorry better be in working condition man.

Labels: random, views

Bee Gees-Too much heaven

Chorus:
Nobody gets too much heaven no more
Its much harder to come by
Im waiting in line
Nobody gets too much love anymore
Its as high as a mountain
And harder to climb

Oh you and me girl
Got a lot of love in store
And it flows through you
And it flows through me
And I love you so much more
Then my life..i can see beyond forever
Evrything we are will never die
Lovings such a beautiful thing
Oh you make my world.. a summer day
Are you just a dream to fade away

Chorus..

You and me girl got a highway to the sky
We can turn away from the night and day
And the tears we had to pay(u had to cry)
You're my life..
I can see a new tomorrow
Evrything we are will never die
Lovings such a beautiful thing
When you are to me, the light above
Made for all to see our presious love

Chorus..

Love is such a beautiful thing
You make my world a summer day
Are you just a dream to fade away

Chorus..

Nobody gets too much love anymore
Its as wide as a river and harder to cross

Chorus..(repeat and fade)

Labels: emotions, reflection, sad, soulful

The day has come to an end and the new day awaits.

Things will only get better I'm sure. And oh ya, I'm hungry.

Just realised I haven't had a single meal today. What the..... Time to grab a bite.

Labels: hopeful, hungry

Nabeh, was halfway into this entry when crashed.

*****

Torture is having to be around a group of 3/4 drunk people and they keep insist that they're only "slightly high". Can't remember how many drinks K had. He passed me the mic.

"Here, you help me with the next song, I'm too high for such an emo song"

I can't possibly reject it. It won't be polite to do so.

I took a glance at the screen.

Table 5: 爱一个人很难

How true. How appropriate.

But this is life.

Labels: emotions, hurt, mood, reflection

K stated the obvious. I am fat.

This is as obvious as saying that the sun rises in the east and sets in the west.

But somehow , it is human nature (or is it the coperate world ) to state the not so obvious? Some call it being polite.

Whatever it is, it really takes a close one to be absolutely frank with you. Not that I don't like being called fat, it's just that life has trained me well to accept the fact. I'm not that obese.

"Lose weight la!" some retorted. If BMT can't shed much kilos off me, I guess this is very much myself? Of course unless with surgery or what can reduce my mass. I don't intend it this way though.

Of course, if anyone has any tips to help me shed more kilos without harming my health, please let me know. I don't mind. My current lifestyle, though not perfect , but I guess is pretty decent la.

Labels: fat

I once told you that as long as you're happy, I will be glad.

While things are no longer the same, this hasn't change.

I'm happy because I know that you are

=)

Don't think I can finish everything by today, made a plan of what to do tomorrow.

Time to go home.

Today is a better day!

Tomorrow will be better

Things get very frustrating if your boss dictates your every movement. Everything must be done in a certain manner, you have to standardize your table , your name cards must be kept in this manner.

You're to call so and so at this number and in this order. I need the reports done ASAP.

Why didn't you call Mr X first ? Why are you submitting this report before that ?

You know what I mean , right?

To begin with, there's no specific instructions of which order. And if you ask for specific instructions, you get flaked for having to be spoon fed. And if you do it your way, they will tell it it's not the way they want.

You cannot lose your cool, it's your superior after all.

Not that I'm a Buddhist, just that I'm thankful for that stretch of break.

Will be taking a short trip. Hopefully that will provide some form of "enlightenment".

Start a new work week, things will get better and that is one day nearer to Vesak Day. Hopefully, emotions will not flow.

Labels: random

Seems like I'm doing more blogging on unfortunate stuff.

Hopefully this will be where I leave my sadness behind.

So sorry that I won't be able to share my happiness with you.

Somehow sadness has been forced down my throat, with force.

The pain lingers whenever someone asks for the reason. Is it out of concern or just to satisfy their own curiosity? It doesn't matter. I'm not going to answer that anymore. I'm sick and tired to a question which I have no clear answer myself.

*******

To be constantly reminded of unpleasant incidents is mentally harmful. To be paralysed with sorrows does no good to your daily lives too.

The grass wept for the stubborn rock for it is a debt brought over. I'm no grass and I wish I could just allow my tears to flow. I'm sure it will do wonders.

***********

Can someone teach me how to cry? Otherwise just allow me to remain emotionless.

I'm extremely grateful for the chance to spend my mother's day with my mom. Of course not the entire day, but I'm thankful for the opportunity.

Read about the unfortunate incident regarding Isz Sazali. He was killed in Taiwan by a crashed helicopter. It was no fault of his that he has to be in Taiwan; it was no fault of his that he had to serve NS, certainly his death wasn't expected and most certainly the manner of it.

Somehow I had this inkling of having met this gentleman before, at least I find him familiar. He too, is an alumni of AJC. My friends would know of my sense of attachment to AJC . I always try to make a trip down on special occasions such as Teachers' Day and Chinese New Year. I won't be surprised if I have met Isz during one of my trips; he was afterall a student councillor.

I'm sad that his mother wouldn't have the chance to celebrate mothers' day with him anymore; I'm sad to learn of the death of a fellow AJCian.

Labels: sad, views

Happy Mother's Day, Ma! I love you

She just came online again.

Well, as much as I would like to say hi to her, the pain is just too much to bear.

ah shucks.... I'll just log off.

I'm suppose to be positive right?

Labels: emotions, hurt, mood, moving on, thoughts

Today will be a great day ... =)

I aim to leave by 6pm today. Lipter has asked me to join in his session with Kuni-san who would be returning back to Japan soon. Not too sure what are his plans though.

Kuni is a very interesting fellow from Yokohama. Always cheerful. We converse in a mixture of Japanese and English. My command of Japanese is simply declining while his command of the English language is far from good. However, we managed to communicate pretty well.

Damn, better finish up my stuff fast. In fact there's nothing much left actually, just that I don't feel like leaving it to tomorrow? But den again hor, if I strive to finish everything by today, think I no need to go home liao

Ok... this will be the very last post in office today.

Labels: hopeful

Was hulled up into the boss' office.

" Why is the transaction for the lorry taking such a long time?"

That's a very good question. The dealer won't authorise the transaction until the money's in the bank. The insurance amount is not acceptable to the finance department. The dealer haven't been forthcoming with the particulars of the vehicle.

"Get the guy to get the lorry in good condition and drive it over by next week. We'll give his a cash cheque and let him get the money immediately. I want solutions, not more problems."

Labels: salesman

If you teach me how. I've already forgotten what it is like to be friends with you. So please teach me how.

if you're willing to teach, I'll learn.

M just sent me an sms (Not me lah.. I don't sms myself). His gf of 4 yrs has decided to call it quits and they broke up. Seems like not only do we share a smiliar initial, we share a smiliar fate at a smiliar time when it comes to affairs of the heart.

"Don't you want to know the reason of the break?" M asked.

Seriously, nope. Not at this point of time.It's best for the wound to heal. 4 years ain't short. It does seem to me that the same old bullshit of a couple being together for x number of years would build a firm foundation that can weather all storms together doesn't hold true at all. They've been through the killer NS period whereby many relationships were broken.

"But she told me that the feeling is gone"

Sigh. This was what she told me too.

" I tried to see if we can work things out but she was very much against it"

Well my dear M. Seems like we do share many common points. All I can say is that the moment one party refuses/sees no point/is against working out something from the relationship, it is destined to fail. I'm not saying that by putting in effort to save a relationship would defintely work. My point is if you don't even try ( and when I mean try, both parties really put in their heart and soul to try and not some half hearted attempt) , please don't talk about anything else. This is the greatest failure of all. Infidelity, phsyical abuse and so on comes nowhere close to this.

I gave M a call and he was surprised at my break-up too and of course the similarities.

"Sharon says we can still be friends; afterall the element of friendship is something that we can still cherish"

I'm not sure about former lovers remaining as friends. To put it mildly, I'm dead set against it. Especially in such a circumstance.

We're better as friends than lovers . What does this statement tell you?

That the number of years toegether come to nothing as one party( or both parties) try to salvage something after the breakup. Normally if this "salvaging" portion is done before the break-up, I don't think a question such as " Can we still be friends? " would be necessary.

If the break-up is really ineveitable whereby both parties tried their very best to make things work but failed, I believe the answer is very straightforward in the sense that the two of them would really know whether they are really suited to be friends or not. No one really need to ask. You just know it.

However, when no real effort is put in to save a relationship and the easy option of giving up is exercised (regardless of whatever the circumstances are) please spare everyone the agony. Move on. God willing, someday, the former lovers happen to meet up and reminsnece of the good o'days( sounds like Jean Danker's Car Tunes to me) , that's a different story. Time may cure the wounds, but it's no guarantee. Maybe the wound would be sitched up immediately, maybe it's an open wound infected. Try rubbing salt into it and you'll kill the heart and then the pain's gone. =p

Do you hate her for giving up? M asked. Seems like this 23 year old seems more interested in my situation than his.

A sudden pain stabbed into my heart. I have a ready answer for that but somehow the words are too painful to be uttered. No, I don't hate her. I wish I did. I have never been brought up to hate somebody but to forgive if wronged upon. But the issue here is that she did no wrong so to say. We're not married, there's absolutely no reason for her to try so hard. Even if she did, that's her choice. Put it simply, there's no compelling reason. The number of years together doesn't seem to be of any significance in attempting to put things right anymore. Even for married couples.

Jasmine once told me that the younger generation of today (P-65 perhaps) are less likely to ride out the bad times with their partners. What she probably meant was within a marriage. I am of the opinion that throughout a marriage, there will defintely be instances whereby the feeling is gone. Perhaps it is no longer a matter of " We must try to make things right again " but more of " Would I want to attempt to make things right again or Is it worth my efforts ? ". Perhaps this change in attitude contributed to the rising divorce rates in Singapore?

Again,there's no right or wrong here. If there's any, perhaps the greatest wrong I had committed was to fall in love and to give my all, throughout the 3 over years. Only to see it crumble within a week and to see all efforts on my part to save the relationship come to nought. Perhaps I didn't try hard enough, perhaps she wouldn't allow me to do so, perhaps the whole situation doesn't permit me such a luxury. Perhaps there's no expIaination so to speak. I only had 2-3 days for my feeble attmeplt before the dreadful phonecall. Then again, who said loving someone is blissful? It's always painful. To be loved is bliss, to love is pain.

Mom once warned me not to do anything stupid and let Pei Ling down. In her own words, " 客家人很狠心。"

I can truely understand that having been on the receving end. Well, at least I can stand up with my head held high and proclaim that I didn't let her down a single bit.No one was let down. Just that somehow things happened in a way that we all didn't want. Perhaps my all ain't just enough, ma. But I'm sure you can be proud of your son.

Guess I'll never date a Hakka girl again? =p

Or perhaps never date again.

Now, what about M ? I think the young chap got so heartbroken that he couldn't carry on with our conversation.

I wish him well.

** Addendum 11/05/07 1745, M's alright just that no apeitite, can't sleep and muscle tense. Bro, I've been through that too, so you're not alone? Hmm.. Don't think he will see this blog too but doesn't matter la**

Labels: reflection

I really think we need some time to come up with a better system over here? I have brought this up before, somehow things didn't materialize? I'm not the best person to really come up with a new system but well still have to try la.

Positivism

I have been tasked to complete the purchasing of a commercial vehicle for my company. The delivery driver recommended this 2nd hand car dealer. All seems well with the completion of paper work and stuff. However, he hasn't been very forthcoming with the particulars of the the lorry.

Thankfully, the deal wasn't completed due to the fact that one of the company directors weren't around to authorise the deal. You need more than one to sign on the papers. The insurance particulars were extremely high and he quoted a comprehensive coverage for us and that's from NTUC income. Nothing wrong with NTUC income or what, just that most dealers would enquire about the type of policies that their customers require before making a quotation. And oh yes, the breakdown of details weren't revealed until I pressed for it.

I'm not very please with this. The bosses aren't very please with him ( and me and our delivery driver). This is actually a very straightforward transaction and there is really no need for such a long delay.

He just called me again. Tried to explain everything all over and sought my understanding. Well, I'm afraid I'm in no position to "understand". I don't sign the cheque, the bosses do. If they're unhappy, well, there's really nothing I can do. Pointless to apologise for any seemingly "oversights". Just have to come up with a good explaination to convince the decision makers?

Just be straigthforward in your next deal. Don't count us in though. I have no intention to deal with you anymore. =)

Labels: business, cunning, sales, sly

I shall refrain from posting negative stuff on this blog!

Started the day as I bumped into some old friends of mine.

Saw Jeanette as I boarded the MRT. Haven't really gotten time to have a chat, hence will try to catch up with her. Hope that I still have her handphone number or what. She hasn't lost that wide smile of hers. Hope that she's doing well.

After alighting, I think I saw a primary school mate. Can't remember her name. Was it Wendy or Adeline? Can't really remember. Then again, wasn't really very certain that it's her. But as our sight crossed, she smiled. I believe it's her.

It's always rush, rush and more rushing in our lives.

Finally had a chance to sit down and relax. Had lunch with Kewei. Knew him since our primary school days. He's doing pretty well in the police force. He still exuldes that kind of confidence. Was very encouraging and tried to get me to be more positive.

He mentioned that if one tries to more positive in his approach to life, positive things will naturally come to you. Of course, one cannot expect everything in life to be perfect. However, with this positive approach, there's a higher chance of successes.

I mean, since I'm already so down and out, why not just give it a try? It's not exactly a major change just a slight change in approach in the outlook to life.

Thanks Bro. Much appreciated.

Ah... this doesn't sound nice. Darn.

Screaming and shouting going on. No one seems to be in a position to clam things down. That's the thing with small offices. Low overheads but well, everyone is getting stretched to the max. Am not saying that other people in other organisation are not, just that it's cramp over here.

The printer's not working again. And as usual the server is so slow. This doesn't help a single wee bit.

The new staff from China have yet to open their bank account. Hence, their pay has to be given in cash. Many of them are still unaware of the pay structure.Not too sure what their agent are doing. Having to repeatedly answer identical questions can be extremely tiring.

But well, this is work. I will have to be more positive!! Things will only get better.

Got to know Brandon at Hon's place. He's a marketing person from a company that promotes Budweiser beer. Never really like Budweiser, it 's too Americanised for my liking. Then again, I never really enjoyed American beer, hence the equation. I'm not saying that lager doesn't taste nice. I enjoy my German beer( Erdinger, Paulaner) or Belgium (Stella Artois) beer.

Bran's from KL, speaks Hokkien and Cantonese. Somehow, it's much easier to break the ice using dialects. He commented that I looked stressed and troubled. Perhaps my facial expressions betrayed my intention to mask the unhappiness. I'm not too sure what my clients observed about me and made any observations. I mean I won't be surprised if they did since a relatively new associate like Bran actually managed to detect that. I certainly hope that no harm was done to the company's image.

Bran related to me his childhood ambition. He had wanted to be a farmer. One doesn't come to Singapore as a farmer, you don't get much greens to work on, or any poultry or hogs for you to rear. Not too sure how did he join this industry and forsaking his ambition. I mean, he seems to be pretty educated and perhaps being a farmer seems to be something too "low class" for him. Here he is in Singapore, away from home. What struck me most is his enthusiasm for life.

" Seriously, I look forward to going to work everyday."

I mean how many of us can actually say that? I know I can't and I won't pretend to do that. I try my best to be as professional as possible. But that's the best I can be.

Uncle Hon commented that one can never enjoy his work as a salaried employee. I disagreed and so did Bran.

" It's sad that people can't do what they want to do life."

How true is that.

This reminds me of one of the more meaningful gifts my ex gf gave me ( Well, not to say that the other stuff aren't). It's a little blue mug with a simple message: Do what you like , Like what you do

How very true....

Labels: random

Not too sure but my temperment is not very desirable of late. Of course , it's easy to attribute it to the break-up. But I shan't.

It's no excuse for me to lose my temper; haven't flared up in a very very long time and I have no intention to do so again. So to all the people that I have screamed at, my apologies.

Sorry

Labels: apology

Mom's flaring up again, at the slightest issues or for no apparant issues.

I'm not in the best of mood, hopefully we won't clash. Don't want to hurt her or for that matter anyone.

Labels: emotions, mood

This is certainly a feel good article.

Then again, we need such articles around.

Healing a Broken Heart
By Kathryn Alice

There is no such thing as a broken heart-only a heart that is learning to love more and better.

Realizing that your heart isn't damaged is a relief. But when you're desperately trying to let go of a former mate, and you're in emotional agony, this bit of wisdom is cold comfort. Many say they can feel a physical aching in the chest that can last for weeks and even months. An inability to hear love songs on the radio without crying is common. At worst, those struggling through a break-up can't stand to be alone, and avoid places where they might see their ex. Conversely, they might even arrange to run in" to their former flame.

Why do we find it so hard to release when a relationship ends? We get emotionally attached when we fall in love. Emotional attachment is wonderful when the relationship is in full bloom, but a great source of pain when the romance is over. Emotional attachment is responsible for much angst, from jealousy to endless mooning over the lost love, to an inability to move on. Once you finally break the attachment, you have a pleasant neutrality towards the former object of your attachment. You know you're over him when you can see him with another woman and not feel a surge of emotion. It's not that you wish him ill; you simply no longer see why you were so hung up on him to begin with.

There are three steps you can take to expedite the process of release and be free of the pain. If you start practicing them immediately, you may find yourself getting on with your life and experiencing a heady freedom by tomorrow.

Step One: Release Constantly. Be aware of how often you think of your former love after the break-up. For example, something may trigger a memory, or a friend may ask how the two of you are doing. Perhaps you go so far as to maintain contact deliberately with his friends and family in hopes of rekindling the flame. Your ex is a point of reference for you. You wonder what he would think of your new haircut, or what she's up to. You may torment yourself imagining her involvement with someone else.

This pattern of thinking is not helpful to you, and it needs to stop. You should cease an behavior that keeps you hanging on. There is a magic inrelease. If you are meant to be with her, nothing can keep you apart. For now, you need to disengage. Releasing is not something you can fake. You have to really let go. Letting go may expedite her coming back to you, but you can't do it for this reason. She is not with you now, and that reality must be faced.

How to Release: Cease any behavior that propels you toward her. No more phone calls. Avoid places you may see her if possible. You also need to quit thinking about her and imagining a reunion. Every time you start thinking of her, say (either out loud or silently), "I release you to your highest good. I am free now." As you let go, a strange thing will happen. The Universe will begin to support you. Synchronistic events and spontaneous good will arise to distract you or pull you in another direction. Repeat this release, even if you have to do it dozens of times a day. Because you will be getting positive results, it will become easier and easier to do.

Step Two: Focus on Your Life Vision. It is said that what you look for in another is only yourself. Refocus on your own life when you're plagued with thoughts of your ex-loves. This is healing. As you go through the grieving that is natural upon a break-up, begin to open to a vision of your life as you want it. Include not only the perfect relationship but also your life's mission and most importantly, an image of you at your best-in your power and flourishing, living your life to the fullest. Each time you begin to think of your former love, set these thoughts aside and instead contemplate the vision you've begun to create of yourself. Rather than falling into despair or plotting how to get her back, do something concrete to begin making this vision a reality. Your time is better spent, and this refocusing forces you back into honoring your highest self.

Step Three: Dissolve the Pain. Both of the previous steps will help you handle the pain of emotional release. However, if you have had other wounds in your life, you have built up a large emotional "pain body" that has been reactivated by this break-up. It is time to dissolve this pain body so that you'll never experience such deep loss again. Do this by allowing yourself to feel all of the pain you have stored up inside. Know that tears are healing, a release in and of themselves. Allow yourself to sob in the shower. Embrace the part of you that is inconsolable. Instead of fighting the pain in your heart (and any other physical symptoms), let them be, accepting them fully as part of your healing.

As your pain body is dissolved, begin a practice that will keep you free from storing up more pain in the future. Teach yourself to not take on any new pain. To do this, you must change your perspective. First, know that no one is trying to hurt you. They're doing the best they can, and are simply showing you their limits of their insensitivity. This will help you to quit taking things personally and to forgive.

Secondly, quit feeding your pain. Many of us-especially those we would label "drama queens" (and kings)-need to experience pain in order to feel alive. For others, much of our identity is wrapped up in being a victim. The next time you begin feeling pain, catch yourself. Tell yourself, "I'm thinking of him again." The simple act of noticing how you feed your pain will begin to dissolve it immediately. Next, do whatever is necessary to not let the pain mushroom into a full-blown despair. You may need to distract yourself or remember all the good you have in your life.

As you dissolve your pain body and learn new patterns, your release will go very quickly. You will propel yourself into states of happiness and peace you didn't know existed.

Not only will this break-up not kill you, but it may be the best thing that ever happened to you. The pain of a break-up can push you into a world of magic, of release and of healing that you otherwise might not have entered. And even though you may think your ex is the be-all, end-all, of your life, undoubtedly there is more love, even better love right around the corner.

Just watched Arsenal played Chelsea. The game ended in a draw which means that Man Utd are the EPL Champions again.

It wasn't easy for Sir Alex's side this season. Injuries after injuries. Furthermore, Chelsea seems to have world class reserve players at every department. But at the end of the day, Man Utd still won. This is very much a primary school kid's description of the season just passed. It doesn't matter. The underlying lesson to be learnt?

Never give up and keep believing in yourself. Sir Alex did; his players did. Congrats!

Labels: champions, EPL, football, soccer

What do you do when you have lotsa things on your mind to the extend that you find it almost difficult to work? For the past few days, things have been so for me. In fact a lot more intense.

Had a chat with Mr Tan, a counsellor. He suggested to me a few things. One of which is to partition my mind. Identify the major problems and prioritise them.

Try to stick to a schedule as much as possible.

Things should go well.

*********

Somehow things have improved. I no longer feel that pang of pain in my heart when I wake up , or do I suffer from lost of appetite and stiffness of body movements. My mind's sharper.

It still hurts everynow and then. The intensity fluctuates; the dark lonely nights are the worst. But screw it.

I was in a similar position before and I will survive this time round. Don's words ain't particularly encouraging. He mentioned every setback puts your back a little more as you age. However, life goes on.

**************

I hope I will be in a position to call her soon. I really do. But not quite yet.

Have hope, have faith. *Pray*

Labels: concentration, moving on

The long winding road came to an abrupt stop. Time to choose another path. No one can for sure tell what's going to be in stored.

One thing is for sure. I'm all alone afterall. I can only help myself, no one else can do so.

Jan 20 2005


Aled Blake, Western Mail


THE biggest ever relationship survey has found the prime threat facing couples today is communication breakdown.

More and more men and women are splitting up because they can't or won't speak to each other.

And the toll modern life is having on relationships is also proving a decisive factor on whether they stay together, reveals the major research by counselling charity Relate and Bath University.

Full UK findings will not be published until April, but Relate has given an early snapshot of the survey's alarming conclusions.

The cost of living and lack of time together means more couples than ever before are arguing and "experiencing significant communications problems".


Many people were worried about the impact the "rat race" is having on family life.

Many couples are struggling more than ever with balancing act of work, children and relationships - both being constantly tired, stressed and overworked.

Women aged between 26 and 45 are most likely to struggle with life and feel out of control, a phenomenon now being depicted in Channel Four's hugely successful Desperate Housewives.

And, the study found, most men and women in that age group feel "anxious, fearful and don't want their relationships to break up" but "can't stop the arguing".

Relate counsellor Paula Hall said couples would know if there was a problem that needed to be addressed.

She explained, "When they are aware they are having problems and they are not overcoming them on their own, then they should get counselling.

"Or if they have tried to sit down and talk about it and they can't do so without conversation getting out of hand or one of them is avoiding having the conversation at all, that is when you should get outside help."

Relate hope the research will improve its therapy.

Ms Hall said, "The success of counselling is another thing we are measuring. As far as we are concerned, the earlier people come for counselling the better.

"And people are coming to Relate much earlier. We are seeing people coming forward saying they have been together six to eight months and they have come across a major problem in their relationship and want to address it before it drives them apart.

"In the past people have waited until 25 years of marriage to do that."

She pointed to the rise of relationship columns in newspapers and magazines and an increase in media interest as factors behind a more open culture.

"All of that supports the notion that relationships need work," she said. "The indication is that the impact of work on relationships is affecting most people now, whereas it would only have affected a small proportion before.

"There are a lot more couples now where both are working. Things are changing anyway and have been over the years they are actually doing a proper kind of research it will be interesting."

A year after completing counselling Relate says 58% clients felt that their relationship was better than it had been before receiving the help.

Top argument topics are money, children, personal habits, housework, work and sex while half of all arguments take place in the evenings, 26% are at weekends and 23% before a special event.

Relate has 2,000 counsellors working across the UK and delivers services in schools, surgeries, prisons and High Street centres.

An old song but very true

Somebody
Depeche Mode

I want somebody to share
Share the rest of my life
Share my innermost thoughts
Know my intimate details
Someone who'll stand by my side
And give me support
And in return
She'll get my support
She will listen to me
When I want to speak
About the world we live in
And life in general
Though my views may be wrong
They may even be perverted
She'll hear me out
And won't easily be converted
To my way of thinking
In fact she'll often disagree
But at the end of it all
She will understand me
Aaaahhhhh....

I want somebody who cares
For me passionately
With every thought
With every breath
Someone who'll help me see things
In a different light
All the things I detest
I will almost like
I don't want to be tied
To anyone's strings
I'm carefully trying to steer clear of
Those things
But when I'm asleep
I want somebody
Who will put their arms around me
And kiss me tenderly
Though things like this
Make me sick
In a case like this
I'll get away with it
And in a place like this
I'll get away with it
Aaaahhhhh....

It's Friday again. The weekends are coming and time to rest and recover from the stressful, traumatic exeprience. Life goes on.

Had a much better rest and felt more recharged. Hopefully things will only get better for me.

Random posting

I have to survive. This is of no fault of anyone, somehow it happened. I know I will.

Brain isn't working too well, perhaps lack of sleep or wad? It doesn't help by sleeping only 2 hours a day. Guess I need to catch some sleep.

Tired.

Doreen is looking for a Nintendo set, will be accompanying her to have a look. Brings back some memories of my childhood.

Seeking help isn't a sign of weakness.

Why does most of the break up articles are written from a female's perspective?

You mean guys don't feel the pain at all?????

Yes, it's official. We have gone our seperate ways.

We're drifting away at a very rapid speed. As I attempt to hold on, everything seems so cold. It's tormenting.

Perhaps things won't be the same again?

Labels: hurt

This blog has been stagnant for the past few months. With no inputs, no arguements, no sharing , nothing whatsoever.

In fact a couple of bloggers have decided to close down their blogs or have already done so. Does it mean that this is the demise of the blogsphere?

While I'm in no position to comment about that , I'm certain that blogs have a certain function in helping the blogger communicate with his readers, whoever they may be. A blog is never private, unless you choose to keep it so. Then again, if that's your intention, why bother to publish your thoughts and views online?

Blogging can be an excellent mean of communication. However, just like any type of communication, it takes two hands to clap. If the communicator, in this instance, the blogger, decides to keep quiet, i.e. not posting for long periods of time or keeps repeating the same old story without the receipient fully comprehending the message or intended meaning, things get out of hand.

Prolonged period of non communication can bring about the demise of a relationship. In fact, it is often THE very reason. Usually, it's not exactly a matter of having a flair for writing, or writing some paper for some journal. Your readers just want to know what's going on with your life. There's no need to be grammatically correct all the time, the occasional spelling error( just blame it on typo la), using Singlish or whatever language, as long as it connects the reader to your thoughts, I believe that is sufficient?

I mean of course, this is not a politcal blog or some blog that focuses on certain specific issues. This is my blog. An avenue for me to express my thoughts , not an avenue for me to produce essays of A1 standard. It doesn't have to be politcally correct always. Of course, no slanders or seditious remarks. Just straightforward views of yours truly.

Too much thinking, too many worries (and of course with a slight douse of laziness) will bring about a blog that has been stagnant for ages. A stangnant blog is like a stagnant relationship. You readers may just get over you (and your views that have been so fasinating at the initial stage).

Hence, get over all those worries that are uncalled for... speak your mind. Let's prevent the demise of communication. When there's a will, there'a way. It may require a lot of effort but it can be done.

Cheers!

Labels: communication, thoughts, truthful, views